Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I Never Thought....

The following was written by my daughter, Becka, on Tuesday morning. I noticed the time cause if she is mine what is she doing up so early? As I read this I begin to laugh at alot of things that she and Ben did together as siblings although she did not include the frogs. But the more I read the tears begin to fall...How do I explain to the PH girls why I am crying ....and yes they do ask. My thoughts have rambled all day from the beginning of his life til now. Sometimes I think it is not fair what this world requires of our family serving in the military. But then I didn't think it was fair when God decided to call home my mom either. I have struggled with life and death since February 27, 2008.  The day my baby (yes, he admits this) flew on a plane to start his life with the Army at the age of 17 and the morning that my mom got up to go to the bathroom with her next steps being on the streets of gold in heaaven.  It won't be long and Ben will be serving for my freedom here on Earth halfway across the world.  That is something I am proud of  but I would not be a mother if it did not bother me to some degree.  I can only cling to the verse that I have used since we begin our full time ministry as preacher and his wife:  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


I Never Thought...


When I was 5 years old



and he was just newborn;


I never thought...




Then he became the 5


and I became the 10.


We dug holes in our backyard


to build a "swimming pool";


I never thought...



Once again 5 years passed


And I became a teen


as he lingered on the edge.


While I chased him with a fly swat;


I never thought...




When I reached my 20's


he was just a teenager


lost in his own dreams.


He missed me when I left,


because he lost someone to tease;


I never thought...




Now we're both adults,


and we're known as


the baby and the princess;


How dare we forget to mention


the chosen one of all,


who's stuck in the middle.




I never thought I would have to say,


"Brother, thank you for your service!"




I never thought I would see the day,


that precious baby boy


would be half a world away.




I never thought I would be so proud


of that rotten little baby boy.


Who's given up his freedom,


so that I can hold strong to mine.




I never thought...




BOH
Lance, Ben and Becka

Ben and Becka

Ben

John, Georgiana and Brennon

 

2 comments:

Mamma has spoken said...

I so know what you are going through! It was the hardest time of my life when my son did the same thing. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

Missie said...

Your entry made me cry!